New year, new beginnings ❤ Dyed my hair back to black and am enjoying it. 11 is my favorite number. I Hope 2011 is just as awesome!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
❤ Some simple resolutions ❤
Monday, November 29, 2010
I know it's not anything, but sometimes it feel like I"m not making progress fast enough. There's a lot to be thankful for, and a lot I should just take in and try to enjoy without beating myself up. But it's easy to feel disappointed in yourself. And it's easy to feel like all the effort you've put in has been for naught. I need to keep reminding myself to not expect to accomplish too much at once. That progress, no matter how minute is progress.
I like this quote. Incidentally, I went to Emerson Junior High, named after the author.
"What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."
-RWE
I like this quote. Incidentally, I went to Emerson Junior High, named after the author.
"What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."
-RWE
Monday, November 22, 2010
Birthday Resolutions
What's better? Making yearly resolutions on New Years (and here I mean Jan. 1st, although Chinese NY would work just as well), or on your birthday? I've always made my yearly resolutions on NYE. But I was so inspired this week by Elsie's 27 things before I'm 28, that I thought about changing to my birthday. That way, as you face the depression of turning one year older, at least you will have something to show for it! Hey look at this list of things I've done this year...
While doing mundane tasks today, I semi-daydreamed about what would be on my list:
- Reading Plato (I feel so guilty I know so little about philosophy)
- Paintballing (Can't believe I haven't done this yet!)
- Taking an acrylics or oil painting class
- Getting my motorcycle license (possibly)
What would be on your list?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Why I believe in God
Sometimes people ask me why I am Christian. This is really a complicated question. Aside from personal reasons, I think there are so many reason TO believe. One main reason for me is the issue of fairness. Let me explain. When you play a sport, there's rules and a referee to ensure that things are more or less fair right? You might have to submit to random drug tests or other types of regulations to ensure that no one is cheating. In school, teachers and administrators try to make things seem fair. Everyone takes the same SATs, or writes the same essays.
But what about life? Who ensures that things are 'fair' in this large game called life? Who makes sure that you are born into a family that loves and takes care of you? Who makes sure that when you grow up, and start to make friends that they don't abandon or betray you? Or when you start dating that you are treated fairly?
I used to volunteer at a Children's home and the stories I would hear would make me so angry. Most children there had some kind of emotional disorder. One or sometimes both of their parents were in jail. In a few cases, they were adopted, and then unadopted by their "parents". They were basically either children who were purposefully abandoned, or who due to their parents being unable to take care of themselves, taken away by the state. These children are labeled as having "anger management issues", or "personality disorders", but really, they are just kids who were messed up because of their surroundings. They grew up too fast. And the scars they carry with them, will affect their relationships for a long time to come.
When people ask me why I believe in God, this is what I think of. That I do not believe there is true justice in the world. And this both hurts me and bothers me. I can't make things right for everyone. I know I can't. No matter how hard I try, it could never be enough. I can try to make things fair for everyone I meet, but how many people would I meet in my lifetime? I think sometimes God can bridge the gap though. Between what we are and what we want to be. For me, for kids without families, for everyone. Even when you have nothing, you may have God, and that can be enough to make things ok... to get you through. In the same way, how much do we deserve the truly great things that happen to us? Not any moreso I think, than the truly crappy stuff.
My favorite praise song is the Matt Redman song "Blessed Be Your Name". Every time I listen to it, I feel inspired.
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
I'm reminded that when something good happens to me, it's generally not because I deserve it. And when something bad happens to me, I shouldn't stop praising God. In life, things are often unfair. And both good and bad things will happen to me regardless of what I do. But moreso than a person who thinks that they've earned everything good by themselves, or a person that only praises when they are happy, I can choose to praise in both the joy and the pain.
But what about life? Who ensures that things are 'fair' in this large game called life? Who makes sure that you are born into a family that loves and takes care of you? Who makes sure that when you grow up, and start to make friends that they don't abandon or betray you? Or when you start dating that you are treated fairly?
I used to volunteer at a Children's home and the stories I would hear would make me so angry. Most children there had some kind of emotional disorder. One or sometimes both of their parents were in jail. In a few cases, they were adopted, and then unadopted by their "parents". They were basically either children who were purposefully abandoned, or who due to their parents being unable to take care of themselves, taken away by the state. These children are labeled as having "anger management issues", or "personality disorders", but really, they are just kids who were messed up because of their surroundings. They grew up too fast. And the scars they carry with them, will affect their relationships for a long time to come.
When people ask me why I believe in God, this is what I think of. That I do not believe there is true justice in the world. And this both hurts me and bothers me. I can't make things right for everyone. I know I can't. No matter how hard I try, it could never be enough. I can try to make things fair for everyone I meet, but how many people would I meet in my lifetime? I think sometimes God can bridge the gap though. Between what we are and what we want to be. For me, for kids without families, for everyone. Even when you have nothing, you may have God, and that can be enough to make things ok... to get you through. In the same way, how much do we deserve the truly great things that happen to us? Not any moreso I think, than the truly crappy stuff.
My favorite praise song is the Matt Redman song "Blessed Be Your Name". Every time I listen to it, I feel inspired.
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
I'm reminded that when something good happens to me, it's generally not because I deserve it. And when something bad happens to me, I shouldn't stop praising God. In life, things are often unfair. And both good and bad things will happen to me regardless of what I do. But moreso than a person who thinks that they've earned everything good by themselves, or a person that only praises when they are happy, I can choose to praise in both the joy and the pain.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Change
Sometimes the truth has an expiration date. Like a bottle of milk, it looses its freshness over time. And becomes irrelevant. So that when you finally have the courage to say it, it doesn't mean as much as it did at the moment you wanted to say it, but didn't. I'm slowly learning to speak the truth in the moment. My truth. Instead of holding these bits and pieces in my heart, and keeping it there until I reach my bursting point and they come tumbling out from inside me. A big ball of repressed, nervous, overwhelming, chaotic stream of thoughts, feelings, and words unsaid.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Oh my gosh!
THIS is amazing!!! Have you ever wondered how to combine the look of hand-drawn and the texture of canvas? Who knew it could be so easy?!
Video courtesy of http://www.promisetangemanblog.com/
Get Crafty With The Girls With Glasses from The Girls With Glasses on Vimeo.
Video courtesy of http://www.promisetangemanblog.com/
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I miss drawing
These gorgeous watercolors from Pop Pop Portraits makes me remember why I loved drawing in the first place!
I have been dying to start sketching black and white portraits. I have in my possession a Sketching kit with CD-Rom, sketchbook, and pencils that I bought in a set from Borders when they were majorly on sale. I watched the CD over the summer, and it got me a little excited about drawing again. But these past weeks I've been up to my ears in midterms and fellowship applications. Maybe winter break. Anybody wanna draw with me?
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