marriage is so scary...

So I meant to make a longer post last night, but I was too tired to write anymore.

I visited a good friend last night, who is very unhappily married to her husband of five or so years. Initially the talk was on me, about how come I haven't been dating, and etc... but then somehow it metamorphasized into something bigger and more catastrophic in nature. There was some arguing back and forth as my friend and her husband gave differing responses/advice for me with my friend saying things like "he's only saying that because you're here" or "that's not what he really thinks"... the guy kept on trying to steer the conversation back to me, lol, but my friend kept on putting the spotlight on him (admittedly he was a cheater and probably deserved all the vitriole/angst/resentment she was throwing his way), but it was just very..... uncomfortable.... Then my friend turns to me and says, "if you think being alone now is bad, it's a thousand times worse to be married and alone".

:(

I mean I know she's right. Of course it would be. Everything I see about their marriage makes me fear for everything that could go wrong in mine one day (if). It's totally-mind-blowingly-mortifyingly-God-awfully-craptastically scary. I'm glad it's not me in her position actually, as much as I hate to say it. It just reminds me that I need to be so careful about who I let into my life, and get involved with. Even though nowadays it's relatively easy to get a divorce, it's not like divorce undoes the pain that people go through, and when you have kids, nothing can really separate you from that person. So basically, you can't undo it, ever. It's this permanent bad decision that you've made that ties you to this person, and that's like totally and completely terrifying to me.

Yeah, of course people have good marriages... people who know how to compromise and play fairly, and have relatively good heads on their shoulders, and not too much excess baggage. Those are generally the people who have good marriages.

Collectively, are our morals and values less than they used to be though? I wonder that a lot. I can't help but feel that way after reading story after story of some celebrity cheating scandal, or experiencing/hearing about it from my friends . It just seems like expectations for men are less than they used to be.