Hello Friday

it's a gloomy friday night. it's cold outside, and even colder inside. condensation is building up on my window from the steam of the hot shower. papers are strewn all over the room, bottles, packages, books, things to be returned and things still in their packaging. basically everything is a mess. the recycle hasn't been taken out in a month. boxes stacked atop boxes, perched ever so precariously so they are on the brink of falling but not quite.

the outside reflects the inside. is it possible to be overly sympathetic? to be overwhelmed by a sense of empathy for someone or something that you feel like it sucks the air right out of you. i've been reading dating blogs for two years now. it's become an addictive habit, like chewing the inside of my cheeks or mindlessly scratching my scalp or face while i'm trying to focus on some bit of math. i'm so convinced these people are real, that they would be my friends in real life, that they should find love, deserve to find love. most of them don't have the happy endings i want for them though. it's real life, and things don't seem to change much for them. but i keep hoping.