Sunday, December 18, 2011

the napper

i had a vision last week that i wanted to paint a sleeping fox napping in the fall leaves. this was the end result. i messed up quite a few times on him >< so perhaps there will have to be a fox2 in the future.

Friday, December 16, 2011

i had some downtime today, so I drew a picture of david while he was playing with his iphone. i'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out. he liked the big ear hehe.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

finding people like myself was the highlight of this week/month. it felt really good to talk to other aspies, even if it wasn't irl. reminded me a lot of junior high/high school just the stupid goofy sillyness, and certain groups i've hung out with in the past full of smart, eccentric types. a part of me identifies so much with them. uber nerds. i remember i used to get offended when people labeled themselves as a nerd based on getting good grades, or being an engineer. as if a profession or academic achievement would automatically make you a nerd. while there's not one definition, nerd has always had a more cultural/social definition for me. then again, everyone's def is different. my mom says nerd is just someone who is really good at something, or knows everything about one topic....

my operating definition is if you have done two or more of the following you are a nerd: know about or have participated in any kind of online or live action fantasy role playing game like D&D, WOW, or any other RPGs or MMORPGs, read or have read somethingawful, communicate or communicated with someone in l33t sp34k, and or attended one or more comic-con/anime-con/or star-trek cons.

i've certainly done some nerdy things in the past. but i have a lot of normal hobbies too. wherever i am on the spectrum, there will always be a soft place in my heart for nerds <3

Friday, December 9, 2011

it's a gloomy friday night. it's cold outside, and even colder inside. condensation is building up on my window from the steam of the hot shower. papers are strewn all over the room, bottles, packages, books, things to be returned and things still in their packaging. basically everything is a mess. the recycle hasn't been taken out in a month. boxes stacked atop boxes, perched ever so precariously so they are on the brink of falling but not quite.

the outside reflects the inside. is it possible to be overly sympathetic? to be overwhelmed by a sense of empathy for someone or something that you feel like it sucks the air right out of you. i've been reading dating blogs for two years now. it's become an addictive habit, like chewing the inside of my cheeks or mindlessly scratching my scalp or face while i'm trying to focus on some bit of math. i'm so convinced these people are real, that they would be my friends in real life, that they should find love, deserve to find love. most of them don't have the happy endings i want for them though. it's real life, and things don't seem to change much for them. but i keep hoping.