Tuesday, October 5, 2010

One of the sad things about being an adult is having to act like a grown-up. I remember a passage that stuck with me from a novel I read, where the author makes an analogy between our psyche and russian nesting dolls or babushkas. Each doll represents who we were at a certain age, and as we grow older, we keep adding dolls, but the ones inside - like our six year old self, remain... buried somewhere, just waiting to be let out. ha!

This is what I feel like sometimes when I go to the kids toys section at Target. And especially when I look at the pretty fall leaves that are being shed from trees. I want to run, stomp, jump, shout, throw up a armful of leaves in the air and then jump on them when they land on the ground, and hear that loud crunching sound from all those leaves being decimated into little leaf pieces. I want to have a leaf fight and bury someone completely in leaves. I want to play happily in leaves for about an hour without worrying about how stupid it looks, or whether or not my friend thinks I'm an idiot, or if anyone I know might see me. I want to just have fun and not care that it's stupid.

The problem with being an adult is that all fun activities must be organized under a certain heading, like "hiking at Point Reyes", or "Drinks at G street Pub", or "BBQ on Sunday". As an adult, I can drink, or go dancing as forms of recreation, but inviting someone over to draw or play legos is looked upon as weird. The thing is, most of the things I am interested in doing don't involve alcohol, dancing, or the outdoors. Aside from shopping, which I do take an interest in, I feel a lot of grown-up activities to be boring. I miss the old days when I could say to my cousin "come over to my house and we'll play air guitar to our favorite songs and pretend we're rock stars". We'd take turns being lead singer, if I remember correctly. We always had a wicked good time, and it's times when I think back on memories like that that I feel like I need to listen to my inner babushka's, and make use of what's left of my "young adulthood" in creating more interesting memories.

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